Short Talk

Be open-minded when you read this, feel free to add to the list if you wish….

Ok, here we go!

The Philippines is a Country where…

52. politicians never lose.  They were only cheated!

51. the national hero is a womanizer but still claims to be a pre-dominantly Christian country. (Ayaw nga nila kay Pareng Erap saka kay Ka Panday kasi babaero daw)

50. the most happening places are not where the party is.  Instead it’s where the gang wars happen, where women strip and where the people overthrow a president.

49. even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.

48. everyone has his personal ghost story.

47. mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.

46. everything can be forged.

45. school is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.

44. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.

43. every street has a basketball court and every town only has one public school.

42. all kinds of animals are edible.

41. people speak all kinds of languages, and still call it Tagalog.

40. students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.

39. call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.

38. driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.

37. flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.

36. the tourist spots are where Filipinos do not (or cannot) go.

35. the personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.

34. all 13-year-olds are alcoholic.

33. colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!

32. 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.

31. people can pay to defy the law.

30. everything is spoofed.

29. even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger!

28. the honking of car horns is a way of life.

27. being called a bum is never offensive.

26. floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.

25. everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.

24. crossing the street involves running for your dear life.

23. wearing your national colors makes you baduy.

22. billiards is a sport, and darts is a bar game.

21. even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM - galing sa magnanakaw)

20. insurance does not work.

19. water can only be classified as tap and dirty - clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).

18. the church governs the people and where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)

17. University of the Philippines is where all the weird people go.  Ateneo is where all the nerds go.  La Salle is where all the Chinese go.  College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go, and University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go. (No offense meant, brothers! Peace!)

16. fast food is a diet meal.

15. traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.

14. all the trees in the city are below six feet.

13. being held up is normal.  It happens to everyone.

12. kids dream of becoming pilots, doctors and basketball players.

11. rodents are normal house pets.

10. the definition of traffic is the "non-movement" of vehicles.

9. the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements, and the newer fighter planes are displayed in museums.

8. Nora Aunor is an acclaimed actress and Boy Abunda is the best talk show host.

7. cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.

6. soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.

5. actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment. (Kung gusto mo mapikon, watch the news)

4. finding a deer on the road will be a phenomenon. (May deer dito? Seryoso kayo?)

3. people can get away with stealing trillions of pesos, but not for a thousand.

2. being an hour late is still considered punctual. (Grabe talaga ‘to!)

1. everyone wants to leave the country!(Ang saya-saya!)